Anna’s Magical Number

Sometimes numbers can be magical.  I knew somewhere inside that I have always believed it even though my rational mostly insisted they were only important. Numbers are important. We need them for finances, schedules, sciences, systems and basically everything. Obviously numbers are very important in weight loss as they help track proteins and carbs and of course, the scale. I certainly have had a number in my mind for a long time and that number has represented a clothing size. As I ate my way through the last decade, I imagined that if I reached that goal number, my size ________, that I would be happy and satisfied with my appearance. It was the magical number.

A funny thing has happened during the past few months in the CFWLS Weight Management University. I spent all of my time paying attention to the ‘important’ numbers, monitoring proteins and carbs and calories. Perhaps too intently, I was watching the numbers on the scale like a hawk. Of course, I did realize that my clothes were all looking baggy and not fitting properly. Anxious to arrive at the end of the journey, I was so focused on the idea of losing more before buying new clothing that I was having trouble feeling satisfied.

Then last week a friend of a friend of a family member passed on some clothing they no longer wanted. The original giver had no idea that I had lost any weight and in fact, doesn’t know me at all. When I opened the bag I was instantly pleased at the quality and attractiveness of this donation. That is until I picked up a pair of pants and read the size tag. There was that number, my magical number. My heart sank as soon as I looked at it because I was sure that they would never fit. I almost cast them aside, but then I figured why not try? So I did.

Imagine my surprise when not only did they fit, but they were roomy too. As unbelievable as it may sound my rational mind took over and told me that it was a fluke, surely the pants were mislabeled. It’s the honest truth….I was justifying how impossible it was that I had succeeded at a goal I wanted for ten years. Needing more conformation, I pulled out another pair of pants (and even another after that) and slipped into them with the same excellent results. Wow. Size ____? Really? Yes, really.

I realized then that sometimes we can miss the magic that exists in the moment of accomplishment if we are only looking ahead to the finale. It is important to stop and take a breath and soak in all you have achieved. To take a look around and see what right choices have brought you to the place you have arrived at and to appreciate the support and encouragement that have helped you on the way. It’s important.

My time in the program is not over, and my weight loss is not finished. I still have more goals ahead, and I feel confident that I can achieve them now that Dr. Clark has given me the tools I need. But I can take this moment to feel satisfied. The numbers don’t lie and that’s just magical.